Tuesday, May 12, 2009

First PRIDE training

I had my first training this weekend. It wasn't what I expected and I found it a lot harder emotionally. There was a lot of talk about the birth parents and their perspective. I think I was forgetting the children returning to them too much in my imagination of what it will be like. The reality of it began to scare me. One of the things that they said Saturday is true. We may gain knowledge in the classroom, but we gain skills in experience.
Having a few days to process what I heard Saturday, I feel much better. Sunday I was very emotional and crying at church. The fact that it was mother's day wasn't helpful in that regard.
...God still has a lot to teach me. As I write I am realizing more of what that is. Not only does He want to teach me community, and humility in asking for help, but also to solidify my identity in Him. I will not be 'mom' to these children, but I will be a mother and will feel love towards them as if I was. But the love I will receive in return will come from God my Father and that love alone is perfect and whole.
My friends have been so encouraging to me, and the message from them all has been the same. Thanks for your prayers and support, ...
I better stop before I tear up at work.

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